Stir it Up?

It has been a very odd few weeks. I accepted the offer of a new job and it created a stir.

There is always a huge amount of interest in anything the Archbishop of Canterbury does and I think appointing a black woman as his Chief of Staff has definitely stirred things up in a number of different ways.

There are many people who are happy to see a black woman in such a senior post and there are those who aren't happy at all. Such is always the case  but what truly matters to me is how I feel about this new direction. 

How do I feel?

It is really nice if people are happy for you when you achieve something, especially when family and friends are happy.  

I am really not bothered about the opinions of people I dont know. I am not a popstar or celebrity, and this is about my personal life and my career but because it is the AB's post strangers wade in with their opinions and I ask myself 'who send you come'? A Nigerian phrase for 'who are you and what is your business here?'

I am a very private person and so I have been thinking about all of this because I think it is odd that strangers think they have the right to comment about me based on the fact that I was appointed to a job. It would be different if I was in the job and involved in public or even political decision making but the role isn't about that at all. It isn't a media facing role. It is an Archbishop/C of E facing role. I also think that their attitude is also due to social media and the way it opens up people's lives and the way people feel they can wade into the lives of others with their comments and opinions.

As I think about all of this, life goes on and we have to eat and so I made a stir fry from one of my Gordon Ramsay cookbooks.

It is Thai Chilli and Basil Chicken. It isn't described as a stir fry in the book but everything comes together in the way stir frys do.

I am pleased that the result is a dish that actually looks similar to the book for once and tastes nice. I do think that next time I will use less oyster sauce and a bit more soy sauce and also a bit more chilli. It is good to be able to discern how the different ingredients affect the overall flavour of the dish. It is a lovely dish with my favourite vegetables, broccoli and green beans.

Life is quieter now but it was certainly 'stirred up' a few weeks ago with lots of joy but also resentment . 

The vast majority of people are happy and encouraged that I have a new role. I have known for some time that it was time to move to another role but it hasn't been easy to find the next steps especially because of the pandemic. I actually thought I was heading back to local government and I have spent time over the last couple of years applying for all kinds of charity roles and policy roles as well, but God has now directed me elsewhere.

The recruitment process for this new role was complex and I had to quieten myself to discern if this was what I truly wanted to do, but the role is such a fascinating one and I can hear the Lord calling me. This is the call that has guided me through my life. As we say at morning prayer 

'Lord, you will guide me with your counsel and afterwards receive me with glory.'

The response to the announcement about the post was interesting and surprising. There was overwhelming joy and excitement. My family are ecstatic. My aunty here in the UK is so moved and excited. My mother's sister in Nigeria is happy and sad because her sister isn't here to see this. N'do Aunty (that is Igbo for 'sorry Aunty' and my way of comforting her). 

My younger sister is dropping 🎤 🎙 mics all over the place. Boom! My son is happy but cautious, probably because the recruitment process was not an easy one. 

The vast majority of my friends are ecstatic. These are the ride or die friends who have been with me for years. We have worked together, laughed together, mourned together and they have been there every step of the way. They are the friends the bible describes as 'friends who are closer than brothers (and sisters)' and my life would be poor without them.

There is my alumni group in Nigeria. University of Nigeria Law students of 1986. I don't always participate in our WhatsApp group because I dont always understand the Nigerian politics which is a hot topic, neither do I understand the occasional legal debates because I don't practice law, but I do understand that these are my people. Whenever I pop up in the group they encourage and love and praise me. This time round they sent me congratulations, prayers and hymns in Igbo from YouTube. There was some debate about the appropriate hymns to send and whether the hymn should be in English or Igbo because I don't speak Igbo. They sent me both and I  have promised to learn to sing the Igbo hymn. 

I know my cousin Ebele will laugh at this but she is the one who is going to help me, so laugh now and I will see you later!

There was a lovely celebration at church, St Philip's Earls Court. I have been at this church for twelve years. I am not there every week but this is home, the place I walk into and I step into the loving arms of Christ. These are the people who listen to me preach and thank me and encourage me. They have been there for me and every step is a step together. Everyone there loves me except Pushkin the cat, or maybe he does too in his own way. 

Anyway the announcement was met with joy, love and cake. I had some very affirming messages from Bishops I have worked with over the years. Such kind and thoughtful words.

The announcement also stirred up the need to reach out and catch up with some of my friends. So a few old friends have reached out to catch up and I have reached out to a few. A change is ahead and it is an opportunity to re-engage in the changes that happen to all of us.

Then there is the public response. The Church Times ran the story and must have used Crockfords to pull their own information on me together. They announced my age to the world and got it wrong. I wasn't too sure about this but I asked them to correct my age. Why shorten my life span? And any way I do look good for my age 😀 although I don't see why they felt the need to announce that. 

Any way what evs. 🤔

I have future colleagues who have connected with me on LinkedIn. I am looking forward to meeting them eventually and I have a couple of new friends on Facebook. I dont really like connecting on Facebook with people who are strangers, especially if they don't send a message. For me Facebook is for my family, friends and people I know or really want to know but every now and again I bend a little and connect with people I don't know. 

I have also had an online website trawling through my Twitter in order to show me in what they think is a negative light.  According to them I am pro gay, pro abortion, anti Tory and a diversity quota for the Archbishop.

 I very much believe that people shouldn't be oppressed or persecuted because of their sexuality. That is my belief and I live it. Abortion is a complex issue for many people and I don't voice my own opinion about it. So these mean spirited people just added that ingredient to stir things up and not in a nice way.

I am anti - Tory and why shouldn't I be when their policies oppress the poor, divide people or reinforce racism and hatred?  We live in a democracy and what this group have forgotten in their arrogance is that I am entitled to my own opinion and free to work with marginalised communities.

Whenever a woman raises her head above the parapet there is always someone trying to pull her back down and unfortunately many time it is men. This time it is white men. It happens to women everywhere and to black women regularly.

My twitter feed and some of my Facebook posts were searched in order to find something scandalous. My Facebook is set to private so I can only guess that my posts were seen via my friends. There is nothing scandalous there. My FB consists of food, books, animals and jokes, but it is sad that complete strangers would trawl through my social media looking for ingredients to stir things up.

My twitter feed is also actually quite dull and full of ship visiting pictures. I am not active there at all. I use Twitter to follow news about the pandemic and news about anime. 

My life is actually quite ordinary and boring and I enjoy it.  I am a comic book and anime nerd and quite happy to listen to the world quietly. I am trying to listen to God and live in response to that. The love and affirmation I received from most people and organisations that I have supported in the past, confirms that I am living in the right direction.

I dont even know why these people feel they have the right to assess me. They were not on the interview panel. They haven't contacted me for my opinion just rifled through my twitter feed like thieves quickly rushing through a house to steal.

I guess in their own way they are 'stirring things up', taking a side swipe at the Archbishop just before the Lambeth Conference, and a not so subtle dig at his recruitment choices. 

Then they try to trample over me by misrepresenting who I am. They take the beautiful and fresh ingredients of my life and try to make them sour and bitter. How silly and unprofessional.

In any case Lambeth responded quite quickly to defend me, but it is such a shame that they even have to respond to such drivel.

These days everyone has a right to express themselves even if what they are expressing is ignorance and spite. This is the world we live in.

For me unfortunately this is nothing new. I have experienced these attitudes throughout my career. Jealousy, resentment, hatred, misogyny, racism, sometimes wrapped up in a veneer of Christianity or a veneer of civility, sometimes totally inexplicable,  but the Lord Jesus Christ who I serve has kept me and will always keep me.

 I will continue to serve the Lord in all the ups and downs of life like so many others do. 

I have my place in the world. I am called, beloved and chosen. And I am deeply loved. I have the right ingredients in my life and I shall continue to cook with them.

I can also make a mean stirfry according to my Gordon Ramsay Quick and Delicious cookbook, page 95 if you have a copy.

Although Pushkin doesn't think so.

I believe my new role is going to be fascinating and I am looking forward to starting later this year but the job isn't my ultimate destination. It is just part of my journey homewards. 

Lord you will guide me with your counsel.

And afterwards receive me with glory.

Amen

Psalm 73:24